"Sunny Side Up"? More Like Sunny With a Chance of BS

Okay, Bank of America thinks 2026 is gonna be all sunshine and rainbows for the US economy? Seriously? I'm seeing headlines about "tailwinds" and "above-consensus growth," and all I can think is: who are they trying to kid?

First off, this "OBBBA" – whatever alphabet soup that is – is supposed to add 0.3-0.4% to GDP growth. Color me skeptical. Government stimulus always works out exactly as planned, right? It's not like there's ever any waste, corruption, or unintended consequences. Give me a break.

And then there's the Fed. "Lagged effect of ongoing Fed cuts is likely to buoy activity in 2H26." Oh, so now they think the Fed knows what they're doing? Last week it was all about how the Fed was going to crash the entire economy. Which is it, guys?

Trade policy "should turn more supportive for growth regardless of whether the IEEPA tariffs are overturned." Translation: we have absolutely no idea what's going to happen with trade, but we have to say something positive. It's like they're throwing darts at a board blindfolded and calling it "economic forecasting."

AI: The Savior?

AI-related investment will continue to support the economy? Sure, because every company that slaps "AI" onto their business plan suddenly becomes a trillion-dollar enterprise. Let's be real, most of this AI hype is just that – hype. It's a bubble waiting to burst, and BofA is acting like it's the second coming of Christ.

Here's the thing that really grinds my gears. They're downsizing their office space in Denver. Trading Republic Plaza for Block 162, which means they're cutting their footprint nearly in half. So, while they're telling us everything's going to be great, they're quietly shrinking their own operations. Actions speak louder than words, offcourse, and their actions scream "we're not as confident as we're letting on." (More on the move in this article: Bank of America downsizing footprint in move within downtown).

I mean, gold surging to $5,000 an ounce? That's their other prediction. Gold is up 54% this year, and they think it's going even higher. Which, fine, maybe it will. But usually when the experts are this sure about something, it's a pretty good sign that the opposite is about to happen.

Inflation: The Elephant in the Room

Oh, and let's not forget the inflation boogeyman. BofA admits that inflation is likely to remain above target. Headline and core PCE at 2.6% and 2.8%, respectively. Tariffs keeping core PCE above 3% through 3Q. So, basically, they're saying things will be great... except for the part where everything will still be more expensive. How exactly is that a "sunny side up" scenario?

They expect job growth to average 50,000 per month next year, and unemployment to fall to 4.3% by late 2026. That's their rosy picture of the labor market. Meanwhile, real wages are stagnant, and half the country is working gig jobs with no benefits. But hey, at least the unemployment rate is low, right?

I get it. They're Bank of America. They have to be optimistic. They have to pump up the market. But honestly, this whole forecast feels like a carefully crafted PR campaign designed to keep investors from panicking.

Maybe I'm too cynical. Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I should just trust the experts and invest all my money in gold and AI stocks. Nah.

So, What's the Hidden Agenda?

BofA's selling something, and it ain't just economic forecasts. They're selling a narrative, a story that benefits their bottom line. And I ain't buying it.